Wednesday, October 7, 2015

How to Say No

Living Life on Purpose means I have to define my priorities (my Core Values and my Mission Statement come into play here). I have to decide what is important and what is not - I have to learn what sidetracks me, what distracts me, and eliminate those distractions that can be eliminated...or at least reduce them! I need to know when to say "No" ... I need to learn how to say "No" .. 
Saying "No" to non-priorities sets me free. (Tweet this)
Saying "No" was difficult for me - I'm a people-pleaser by nature, and setting boundaries was always my challenge. I hate to disappoint, I hate to feel like I'm not doing my share... so I always over-committed - I would say Yes even when No was the only sane option! Needless to say, this was a recipe for burn-out...

Saying "No" is an act of Love...

Learning to say "No" when I needed to is an act of Love - Love for myself, and Love for my family(who suffer when I burn-out). Learning to say "No" is also an act of respect - Respect for my time, yes - but also Respect for the person who was asking for my time. How disrespectful to say "Yes" when I can't commit 100%!

Saying "No" frees me to say "Yes"...

Learning to say "No" freed me to say "Yes' when "Yes" was the right choice. Saying "No" to time-wasters, saying "No" to projects that don't bring me closer to my goals, saying "No" to distractions, saying "No" to activities or people that take me away from my purpose... saying "No" to all of this gives me space to breathe, time to think, options for "Yeses".

But HOW do I say No?

Learning to say "No" was hard for me. Oh, it was easy when my son or husband wanted somethign and I was frazzled and snapped, "NO!: in frustration - but saying "No" to others? Saying "No" in a loving manner? That was hard. Remember, I'm a people-pleaser at heart - and saying "No" doesn't give me that reward of having pleased someone. 

I had to practice saying "No". I had to think about it, I had to rehearse it, I had to anticipate when I would be asked to do something I would have to say "No" to. It felt fake - like I was a child playing a game - but after some time it became real. 

Today, take a little time out to see what you should say "No" to in your life - where have you over-committed? where are you shortchanging yourself or your family? where are you being pulled away from your priorities? your goals?

What can you say "No" to in your life?

Join me for tomorrow's challenge: When to Say Yes