Today my younger brother, Tommy, would have turned 46. It is a day of bittersweet remembrances.
It is a day my sis-in-law and I text each other little hearts and share teary laughs.
It is a day I count my blessings - that 2 of my younger brothers are still with me and such a huge and wonderful part of my life.
It is also a day of hope - for in death, there can be hope. So I dig deep and plant those seeds.
Yesterday, a reporter noted that I seem less angry about 9/11 and Tommy's death - that I seem more at peace. She asked what had changed.
Time.
Time, God's mercy, the love of family and friends - and LOTS of writing - have brought me past the anger.
Making a focused effort to note the beauty all around me has brought me peace - for how can I maintain rage when confronted with the clear and innocent gazes and sweet confidences of my young nieces? How can I not find some measure of solace meditating in my garden? (any garden, if I'm being honest!) How can I stay stuck in an unhealthy place when I am surrounded by the love of good people?
Happy birthday, Tommy Too! I'll see you again, down the road a bit!
Note - the photo is of a painting from the Tribute: Downtown Rising exhibition. It is a series of paintings made of the World Trade Center site over the past 10 years. The first is dated September 10, 2001.
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